I will never forget trying to explain to a friend of mine why I have no time since having babies, why I am always late and how some days I'm in my pyjamas till lunch time and never put make up on or have breakfast. From an outsiders point of view, and mine pre baby, it must be hard to comprehend what takes up all my time. Babies either sleep, a lot, or eat. To be honest looking back I can't believe how much spare time I did actually have, having two is like living in a circus.
So to all my non mummy friends here it is, a typical morning in the life of a mummy plus two trying to leave the house.
6am / 7am - get woken up by one or both babies singing/ laughing/ crying/ shouting
6.45am - change both babies nappies and clothes if covered in wee/ poo/ snot
7am - prepare and give bottles to both children, two cups of tea for mummy and daddy
7.20am - burp baby/ pacify screaming toddler who wants to be chased around the house
7.25am - change baby's baby grow after he's been sick all down it
7.30am - read toddler a book/ play with baby
7.45am - put toddler on naughty step for hitting baby/ stealing his toys
7.55am - try and cajole toddler downstairs for breakfast or do a strong man life and carry both downstairs at the same time
8am - give the toddler breakfast while baby is in bouncer, ram a piece of toast down your neck and take a slurp of tea which is now stone cold
8.15am - clean up toddlers breakfast which is now all over the kitchen floor
8.20am - change both babies nappies and get dressed for the day
8.30am - try and get everyone to clean their teeth/ brush hair and wash face
8.40am - get yourself dressed/ put make up on to cover huge dark circles so as not to scare the postman
8.45am - hold baby/ pacify screaming toddler who wants you to play with toys and not hold the baby
8.50am - wash and sterilise bottles ready for the day/ fill formula dispenser/ make toddler a packed lunch
9am - pack nappy bag for the day, spare clothes/ nappies/ wipes/ drinks/ toys/ bottles/ snacks
9.15am - put baby in car seat ready to leave the house and have a sleep
9.20am - chase toddler round trying to get coat and shoes on
9.30am leave the house
So there it is. This is just a couple of hours in the morning, it is like this all day until 7pm bedtime. If Honey is going to nursery this all has to be condensed and rushed along even more. Notice too I hadn't even factored in showering and doing my hair, mainly because I don't even know where to squeeze it in on paper let alone in real life.
If everything does go to plan as above then perfect, but as you can imagine it never does. It will always happen that when you are trying to leave the house, usually late, one of the children does a dinosaur-size poo so the nappy/ clothes need to be changed, or the baby burps and pukes everywhere so you and the baby need to be changed, or the toddler falls over and starts screaming so needs calming down or said toddler refuses to put any shoes or coat on.
Anyway, today is a good day, both are asleep. At. The. Same. Time. So I have at least thirty minutes peace with a cup of tea.