Sunday, 10 June 2012

Second Baby Guilt

As the impending arrival of baby no. 2 draws nearer and nearer a strange feeling has begun to niggle, one I wasn't expecting and which has come out of the blue, and that is guilt. I am obviously excited, nervous, happy but I am quite worried about how Honey will react to a little baby spoiling all her mummy and daddy time and not being the centre of attention anymore.
In her short little 21 months it has been pretty much me and her. I understand all her mumblings and tantrums, what her points means, what her different cries mean, when she's hungry, when she's tired, what she likes to eat, how she eats, what scares her and when she wants a cuddle. She is not just a mummy's girl, she's a daddy's girl too, but no one elses. Her shyness means only we will do, not friends or family, just us, which is hard work sometimes and will make things a whole lot trickier when another baby is thrown in the mix. And in six weeks time another little person is going to come along and burst the bubble of her perfect little world.
It's strange to think I'll feel the same as I do about my little girl as I will another bambino, and maybe even some more to follow. Maybe the guilt is the thought of sharing the love for this tantrumy little girl with someone else? I'm not sure but the excitement of a second baby is certainly different from the first, not to mention the fact that I now know what labour and the first sleepless couple of months entail.
One of the main tips people have shared with me to ease the transition from one to two is to keep mummy/ daddy/ baby time to your current routine. i.e. daddy normally baths Honey, and I normally feed her and put her to bed so try to keep to the same routine therefore unsettling her as little as possible. Another great tip is buying her a doll with nappies, bottles, clothes and all the kit so that she can copy mummy and look after her own baby at the same time.
Anything is worth a try I suppose, as I'm sure she is going to be completely thrown and feel very put out come the end of July. The main thing to remember is how much she will love having brothers and sisters. Who knows it may even encourage her to be a little more confident.

If you have any tips or stories to share about the arrival of new babies please let me know!


  1. I totally relate to this. I found out I was pregnant with no 2 when DD1 was only 9 months old. I felt so guilty! My Mum reminded me that DD1 had enjoyed the immense privilege of having us solely for 18 months of her life, something the other 2 would never have. That really set my mind at ease. Honey has had a wonderful start in life but having a brother or sister will just enhance her life all the more, trust me, she will love the new baby!

    1. Ive never thought of it that way, your mum is a wise lady ;-) xxx

  2. There are only 19 months between each of my three girls, they are now 9, 7 and 6 and are so close, definitely best friends for life. Don't feel guilty you won't be sharing the love you have for Honey but instead having more love grow for your new baby. Also, look at the positivity in letting Honey experience what it is like to have a sibling. It's going to be great. X

  3. Thanks lovely, really hope so! xx